Like many parents, I had my children’s educational journey mapped out before my eldest even entered preschool. Yes, I was “that mom” who woke up at 5 a.m. one pitch-black morning, poured a thermos of black coffee, and sat in an unlit parking lot for four hours, poised to spring out of the car the minute a line formed at the school’s front doors. I was “that mom” who was determined to enroll my child in the most sought-after preschool program in my community. Once enrolled, my son would automatically continue through the school’s revered parochial K-12 program, which would then surely lead to Ivy League degrees. At least, that was my plan…

For many parents, choosing our children’s educational paths is as easy as enrolling them in kindergarten in a local district. Many others fret over the choices, from public to private, from Waldorf to Montessori. We scour social media, compare notes with other parents, and highlight enrollment dates on our calendars.

Now, as a “veteran parent,” recently celebrating that preschooler’s 20th birthday and college graduation, I am happy to pass along my discoveries as I look back at all the unforeseen twists in our family’s educational journey. As it turns out, it wasn’t the minute decisions that made a lasting impact on my family—it was the power of community and shared friendships we all make as we journey in parenting together.

Playgroups- The First Collaborative Learning Spaces

Even before preschool, my children found robust learning communities with their playgroups. When my oldest son was 12 months old, I placed my law career on hold to spend more time with him. To build friendships for myself as well as for him, I joined a preschool parent group and found a delightful community of others on similar “sabbaticals.” Together, we explored library circles, Kindermusik, Gymboree, and scheduled countless field trips and playdates. While we certainly didn’t consider ourselves to be “homeschooling,” our days were full of joyful learning, and our hearts were filled with friendships. Nothing could separate our little community … until the expected transition to school.

Soon after my son began preschool, his teacher informed me and my husband that he would likely not be a good fit for the kindergarten program—or rather, the program would not be a good fit for him. We learned that our “bright” child was multiple years beyond his classmates not only academically, but also in social and emotional development. His teacher generously lavished extra attention, helping him pick out his first Magic Treehouse books at the school fair and sending home exercises to train his tiny hands for “eventual multi-level acceleration.” At the same time, I retreated back to the starting line to laboriously reassess our schooling options. 

Meanwhile, my younger son’s playgroup community was forming. With another set of friends, we continued community enrichment programs, playdates, and field trips. We even created a summer co-op, each parent hosting a week of enrichment fun built around a theme. Our little community was thriving and would have continued for much longer, if it had not been for the school issue.

Transitioning to School … and Then to Homeschool

Just before my eldest entered kindergarten, our family moved, choosing a neighborhood with the highest-rated schools. I had a heartwarming conversation with the superintendent, who assured me they had served many advanced children. Unfortunately, this version of my perfect plan lasted for just three days before cracks began to appear, this time when the school asked to assess for grade acceleration. While every parent wants their child to do well on school testing, ours performed “too” well—showing a clear disconnect between his needs and the available options. We considered and discarded several alternatives before his teacher suggested an unexpected idea that became life-changing. She said, “If he were my child, I would consider homeschooling.” Despite all my educational planning, I had never even considered that possibility.

Homeschooling on the Rise

Homeschooling, or educating outside a formal institution or school of record, is an educational alternative sharply on the rise, now becoming the fastest-growing educational choice, according to a survey conducted for a September 2023 Washington Post article. While steadily increasing before COVID, homeschooling skyrocketed during the pandemic and remains 45 percent higher in its aftermath, particularly with the development of additional resources to support homeschool families. Despite heroic teacher efforts, parents saw firsthand the inefficiencies of large group learning, including a lack of challenge for cognitively more able learners, and frustrations for the many with learning differences that make attention or learning more difficult. 

According to April 2024 national results from EdChoice’s Public Opinion Tracker, only 39 percent of families now prefer their district public school over alternative choices, and nearly one in ten families prefers to homeschool. This may not capture additional families like my own, who discover homeschooling only after discarding other models. 

The term “homeschooling” scares many families, suggesting a family at home day after day, studying around the kitchen table while mom bakes apple pie. Some may picture a homestead family, homeschooling because of rural surroundings or for faith-based reasons. Or, others react to the H-word by exclaiming, “I could never do that!” or “but I’m not a teacher!” Still others might assume one parent has to give up a career to be home all day long. Then, of course, is the biggest question of all, one that homeschool families often chuckle about repeatedly hearing: “What about socialization?” 

Homeschooling Myths 

The modern homeschool movement has dramatically shifted from its origins in the 1960s, when, in response to the end of segregation and school prayer in public education, primarily white Christian evangelicals pulled their children from schools. Today, families choose to homeschool for many varied reasons, and, as Genevieve Smith and Angela Watson explain in the Summer 2023 edition of Education Next, homeschooling demographics largely mirror those of public schools. Forty percent of parents identify as racial minorities, and household incomes reflect similar diversity. Homeschool parents have varying professional and educational backgrounds, and homeschool communities exist in every state and across geographical regions. Family budgets for homeschooling vary just as widely, with some families relying more on free or low-cost resources such as field trips and free learning sites like Khan Academy, while others take worldschooling trips or hire individualized tutors for their children. Just as there are many faith-based homeschool communities, (e.g., the Homeschool California group on Facebook), there are also many secular communities (e.g., the SEA Homeschoolers group on Facebook).

I often describe homeschooling as selecting the best of all available options from an a la carte “learning buffet.” Many recreation departments, nature centers, sports complexes, and art/dance/music programs have classes. Local meetups host park dates and weekly events. Co-ops, or shared parent-led learning groups, draw upon the subject matter expertise of fellow homeschool parents. Enrichment centers where parents may drop off their learners to “school” for a day with peers are also common. Once the traditional school day is over, the classroom and homeschool students rejoin other communities such as dance, sports, Scouts, and youth groups. 

Homeschooled teens often take dual-enrollment community college classes, intern while others are in school, work part-time, or focus on time-intensive passions. Youth leadership is also popular among homeschoolers. In short: There is no dearth of opportunities for socialization. 

The Joys and Benefits of Personalized Learning with Homeschooln

I must admit, I was initially reluctant to give up the idea of traditional education. But while classrooms work well for some learners, many are constrained by time, resources, and the differing needs of its students. When we create a niche learning environment tailored for our learners, rather than asking them to adapt to the environment, how much more can they soar? Families now homeschool for many reasons, with providing more personalized learning at the top of the list. This is why homeschooling is especially popular among families with learning differences and advanced abilities. 

Returning to a Collaborative Learning Community

Within a week of my decision to try homeschooling, I found a homeschool park meetup group and was connected by friends to three veteran homeschool parents, who patiently answered my multitude of questions. Soon afterwards, my son was enrolled in a charter homeschool program with the support of a certified teacher, and he was signed up for weekly enrichment classes. On day one of a multi-age writing class, he made fast friends with two older boys, connecting over Harry Potter. Within a month, we were active in a co-op community and beginning to create our own homeschool community playdates, using our play-group successes as a model for collaborative learning. Once we began, we never looked back. 

Choosing to homeschool can feel very isolating until families build their community. As you spend time with your initial support circles, though, you will find that your web of connections will quickly grow. Although school connections often change with each school year as cohorts shuffle around, homeschool communities tend to expand together and remain close, even long after the children have grown.

Homeschool charters are excellent pillars of support for new families. Since charters are funded as public schools, curriculum and other resources are free, and each family has a certified teacher who oversees their education. Charters have their own varied policies, but generally, they also offer more curriculum choice and pacing flexibility for individualized learning than traditional classrooms provide. Homeschool consultants also provide family support and guidance.

What about Parent Careers?

Homeschooling can work for many families, even for single parents and dual-career families. Some families create flex work schedules, hire college students as helpers and drivers, and utilize homeschool coaches to help them manage logistics. It is not uncommon to see parents working in their car while students are in class, or taking conference calls in quiet places at the roller rink. Since homeschooling is flexible, it does not need to mimic classroom scheduling. Best of all, it is much more efficient than classroom models, so individualized learning can be accomplished in a fraction of a time, and without morning runarounds or evening homework. 

Homeschooling and College

Homeschooling can provide a significant boost for a student to stand out from the pack on college admissions, which has become so competitive that even high school students with numerous Advanced Placement classes may be shut out of highly ranked universities. Yet homeschoolers have an advantage. According to college admissions counselors, universities are increasingly looking for students who can demonstrate passion and drive in an area of focus with innovative projects, research, or other evidence of talent development. Homeschoolers uniquely have the time to discover their strengths and build upon them in deep individualized learning projects. They also tend to work for longer or more closely with mentors who know them outside of the classroom and who can write more personalized recommendations. 

Sixteen years after our family began homeschooling, I am happy to share our success. My eldest homeschooled with charters and community organizations until 10th grade, then returned 

to traditional high school to play baseball. He graduated from high school at age 15 and from the University of California, Santa Barbara at 19 before heading to law school. My youngest is now a homeschooled high schooler, taking college classes while enjoying competitive swimming and national Scout leadership. 

But my personal story doesn’t end there. As an educational consultant and advocate, I have now seen hundreds of families discover the joys and benefits of individualized learning within collaborative communities. It is truly an avenue worth exploring.